Andhra Maverick

                                                               HOW TO CATCH A LION   Newton ’s Method : Let, the lion catch you. For every action there is an equal and opposite reaction. Implies you caught lion. Einstein Method : Run in the direction opposite to that of the lion. Due to higher relative velocity, the lion will also run faster and will get tired soon. Now you can trap it easily. Software Engineer Method : Catch a cat and claim that your testing has proven that it's a Lion.  If anyone comes back with issues tell that you will upgrade it to Lion. Indian Police Method: Catch any animal and interrogate it & torture it to accept that it's a lion. Rajnikanth Method : Keep warning the lion that u may come and attack anytime. The lion will live in fear and die soon in fear itself. Jayalalitha Method: Send Police commissioner Muthukaruppan around 2AM and kill it, while it's sleeping! Manirathnam Method (director): Make sure the lion does not

A police officer pulls a guy over for speeding and has the following exchange:   Officer: May I see your driver's license? Driver: I don't have one. I had it suspended when I got my 5th DUI. Officer: May I see the owner's card for this vehicle? Driver: It's not my car. I stole it. Officer: The car is stolen? Driver: That's right. But come to think of it, I think I saw the owner's card in the glove box when I was putting my gun in there. Officer: There's a gun in the glove box? Driver: Yes sir. That's where I put it after I shot and killed the woman who owns this car and stuffed her in the trunk. Officer: There's a BODY in the TRUNK?!?!? Driver: Yes, sir.   Hearing this, the officer immediately called his captain. The car was quickly surrounded by police, and the captain approached the driver to handle the tense situation:   Captain: Sir, can I see your license? Driver: Sure. Here it is   (It was valid).

Q: Why do boys go to temples? ? ? ? Becoz temple is the only place where u can find.. ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? Pooja Bhakti Bhawna Shraddha Aarti Archana Aradhana Shanti Jyoti JJJJJJJJJJJ

BACKBITE , v.t. To speak of a man as you find him when he can't find you.   BEAUTY , n. The power by which a woman charms a lover and terrifies a husband.   BEG , v. To ask for something with an earnestness proportioned to the belief that it will not be given.   BEGGAR , n. One who has relied on the assistance of his friends.   BELLADONNA , n. In Italian a beautiful lady; in English a deadly poison. A striking example of the essential identity of the two tongue     BIRTH , n. The first and direst of all disasters. As to the nature of it there appears to be no uniformity. Castor and Pollux were born from the egg. Pallas came out of a skull. Galatea was once a block of stone. Peresilis, who wrote in the tenth century, avers that he grew up out of the ground where a priest had spilled holy water. It is known that Arimaxus was derived from a hole in the earth, made by a stroke of lightning. Leucomedon was the son of a cavern in Mount Aetna , and I hav

Hi/ bye friends/ colleagues / enemies , Its time to say hello /goodbye/ get lost to all/ some of you. I think you must be aware that I am leaving MOC1 / MOC2 / MOC3 / TICB / TCM for higher/ good / better / best prospects / job / opportunities /studies . I hope that u had good/ bad / terrible time with me and vice-versa. I would cherish/ forget all the moments/ fights that we had together. I enjoyed /apologize , if I had hurt u knowingly /unknowingly. Please find below my contact details, and contact me only when /whenever I /you feel so. Always/ sometimes hoping to see you here / there /somewhere in future.   Ciao tutti/ semi-tutti .   Chilled / Lukewarm /Warm Regards,   John  

  Teacher to Sardar " Where were U born? > Sardar : In Tiruvanantapuram. > Teacher : Spell it? > Sardar : (after thinking) I think I was born in GOA . > > ============================================================ ==== > > Santa : People consider me as a "GOD" > Banta : How do you know?? > Santa : When I went to the Park today, everybody said, Oh GOD ! U have > came again.. > > ============================================================ ==== > > Sardar complained 2 Police : Sir all items are missing, except the TV in > my house. >! Police : How the theif did not take TV??? > Sardar : I was watching TV na.... > > ============================================================ ==== > Thought for the Day!!! > > If you call your mother as MUM.. What will you call Mother's younger sis > and elder sis? > > Answer : MINIMUM & MAXIMUM > > ==========

A woman awakes during the night to find that her husband was not in bed. She goes downstairs to look for him. She finds him sitting at the kitchen table with a cup of coffee in front of him. He appears to be in deep thought, just staring at the wall. She watches as he wipes a tear from his eye and takes a sip of his coffee.   "What's the matter, dear?" she whispers as she steps into the room. "Why are you down here at this time of night?" The husband looks up from his coffee,    "Do you remember 20 years ago when we were dating, and you were only 18?" he asks solemnly. "Yes I do" she replies. The husband pauses; the words were not coming easily. "Do you remember when your father caught us in the garden?" "Yes! I remember" said the wife, lowering herself into a chair beside him. The husband continued. "Do you remember when he showed the shotgun in my face and said, 'Either you marr

  Teri LOVELY EYES Ne Mujpe Ek EFFECT Kiya Hai Ki Maine Sabko REJECT Karke Tujko SELECT Kiya Hai «ºôº» «ºôº» «ºôº» «ºôº» «ºôº» «ºôº» «ºôº» «ºôº» «ºôº»   Ek Ladki Ko Dekha To Aisa Laga Doosri Ladki Ko Dekha To Vaisa Laga Jab Dono Ke Joote Lage...To Ek Jaisa Laga!!! «ºôº» «ºôº» «ºôº» «ºôº» «ºôº» «ºôº» «ºôº» «ºôº» «ºôº»   Bewafa Tum Ho To Wafadaar Hum Bhi Nahi, Besharam Tum Ho To Sharamdaar Hum Bhi Nahi, Pyaar Ke Is Mode Par Aake Kehte Ho Shadishuda Ho To Kya Hua Darling...Kunware Hum Bhi Nahin! «ºôº» «ºôº» «ºôº» «ºôº» «ºôº» «ºôº» «ºôº» «ºôº» «ºôº»   Jo Ek Galti Karay Woh Anjan Jo 2 Galti Karay Woh Nadan Jo 3 Galti Karay Woh Shaitan Jo Galtion Pay Galti Karay Woh Pakistan Jo Har Galti Maaf Karay Woh Hindustan «ºôº» «ºôº» «ºôº» «ºôº» «ºôº» «ºôº» «ºôº» «ºôº» «ºôº»   Durakht ke paymane pe chilman E husn ka furkat se sharmana... Durakht ke paymane pe chilman E husn ka furkat se sharmana... Ye line samajh me aaye to mujhe zaroor batana    

Dear Tech Support Team:           Last year I upgraded from Girlfriend 5.0 to Wife 1.0. I soon noticed that the new program began unexpected child-processes, that took up a lot of space and valuable resources.           In addition, Wife 1.0 installed itself into all other programs And now monitors all other system activities.             Applications such as BachelorNights 10.3, Cricket 5.0, BeerWithBuddies 7.5, and Outings 3.6 no longer runs, crashing the System whenever selected. I can't seem to keep Wife 1.0 in the background while attempting to run my favorite applications.          I'm thinking about going back to Girlfriend 5.0 , but the 'uninstall' doesn't work on Wife 1.0.        Please help!     Thanks, "A Troubled User"   REPLY: Dear Troubled User:             This is a very common problem that people complain about. Many people upgrade from Girlfriend 5.0 to Wife 1.0, thinking That it is just

            Dear all , The ' Earth Hour ' was initiated by WorldWide Fund for nature (WWF) just two years ago in Sydney , as a show of solidarity against Climate Change, when 2.2 million homes and businesses switched off their lights. Just for one hour. The movement has today spread to more than 80 countries. Led by the WWF, more than 50 million people in 370 cities around the world took part in Earth Hour last year. The lights went out at Sydney 's Opera House, Rome 's Colosseum, the Empire State Building and the Golden Gate Bridge . Even the Google homepage went dark for the day. This year the 'Earth Hour' is being observed on March 28, 2009 between 8.30 PM- 9.30 PM . Close to a billion people from 825 cities across the world would join this fight and pledge to bring about a change

One day, I hopped into a taxi and took off for the airport . We were driving in the right lane when suddenly, a black car, jumped out of a parking space right in front of us. My taxi driver slammed the brakes, skidded, and missed the other car by just inches! The driver of the other car whipped his head around and started yelling at us. My taxi driver just smiled and waved at the guy. I mean, was really friendly. So I asked, "Why did you just do that?" This guy almost ruined your car and sent us to the hospital!" This is when my taxi driver taught me what I now call, "The Law of the Garbage Truck" He explained, "Many people are like garbage trucks". They run around full of garbage, full of frustration, full of anger, and full of disappointment. As their garbage piles up, they need a place to dump it and sometimes they'll dump it on you. NEVER take it personally. Just smile, wave, wish them well, and move on with the routine life." Don't t

  Woo Opposite Suicides Today's job market is as bad as the PICTURE. If you work in your existing company you will die like the MAN and If you quit the job you will die like the FISH.

Government of India has an online Grievance forum at http://www.pgportal.gov.in Can you imagine this is happening in INDIA ? The govt. wants people to use this tool to highlight the problems they faced while dealing with Government officials or departments like 1)       Railways 2)       Posts 3)       Telecom (incl. Bharat Sanchar Nigam Limited (BSNL)  & Mahanagar Telephone Nigam Limited (MTNL ) 4)       Urban Development ( Delhi Development Authority (DDA) , Land & Development Office (L&DO) , Central Public Works Department (CPWD) , etc) 5)       Petroleum & Natural Gas 6)       Civil Aviation ( Air India , Airports Authority of India , etc)