Andhra Maverick

      Once a person was smoking at airport.........A gentleman came & asked him.   How much do you smoke a day? Smoker : Why are you asking such question? Gentleman replied : If you had collected that money  instead of smoking,   the plane which is in front of you, would have been  yours. Smoker asked that gentleman : Do you smoke?   Gentleman:-No.   Smoker asked:- does that plane belong to you?   Gentleman replied:- No.   Smoker:-Thanks for your kind advice, but that plane is mine. <<<< scroll down for smoker's name>>>>                         [Smoker's Name - Vijay Mallya] 

Position of a Husband Is just like a Split AC No matter however Loud he is in the Outdoor He is designed to remain Silent indoor... "Husband is one who is the head of the family, but his wife is the neck, and whichever way she turns, he goes." A man in Hell asked Devil: Can I make a call to my Wife? After making call he asked how much to pay. Devil : Nothing, Hell to hell is Free. Husband: Do you know the meaning of WIFE? It means, Without Information, Fighting Every time! Wife: No darling, it means - With Idiot For Ever Wife: I wish I was a newspaper, So I'd be in your hands all day. Husband: I too wish that you were a newspaper, So I could have a new one every day. Doctor: Your husband needs rest and peace. Here are some sleeping Pills. Wife: When must I give them to him? Doctor: They are for you Wife: I had to marry you to find out how stupid you are.. Husband: You should have known it the minute I asked you to ma

A paraprosdokian is a figure of speech in which the latter part of a sentence or phrase is surprising or unexpected in a way that causes the reader or listener to re-frame or reinterpret the first part. It is frequently used for humorous or dramatic effect, sometimes producing an anticlimax   I asked God for a bike, but I know God doesn’t work that way. So I stole a bike and asked for forgiveness.     Do not argue with an idiot. He will drag you down to his level and beat you with experience.     I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather. Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car.     Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.     The last thing I want to do is hurt you. But it's still on the list.     Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them sp

 

Here is the new ABCD for new age! New Alphabet : A is for apple, and B is for boat: That used to be right, but now it won't float! Age before beauty is what we once said, but let's be a bit more realistic instead. Now The Alphabet: A's for arthritis; B's the bad back, C's the chest pains, perhaps car-d-iac? D is for dental decay and decline, E is for ey

Financial Management...India Ishtyle...         A beggar to another beggar: I had a grand dinner at Taj yesterday. How? The other beggar asked. First beggar: Some one gave me a Rs 100/- note yesterday. I went to Taj and ordered dinner worth Rs 1,000/-, And enjoyed the dinner. When the bill came, I said, I had no money. The Taj manager called the policeman, and handed me over to him. I gave the Rs 100/- note to the police fellow, and he set me free.    

Meaning of the New Indian Rupee Symbol.....!!!!!        

Bill Gates organized an enormous session to recruit a new Chairman for Microsoft Europe. 5000 candidates assembled in a large room. One candidate is Kantibhai Shah. Bill Gates: Thank you for coming. Those who do not know JAVA may leave. 2000 people leave the room. Kantibhai says to himself, 'I do not know JAVA but I have nothing to lose If I stay. I'll give it a try' Bill Gates: Candidates who never had experience of managing more than 100 People may leave. 2000 people leave the room. Kantibhai says to himself ' I never managed anybody by myself but I have Nothing to lose if I stay. What can happen to me?' So he stays....... ...... Bill Gates: Candidates who do not have management diplomas may leave.> 500 people leave the room. Kantibhai says to himself

        Reactions  and Response   Suddenly, a Cockroach flew from somewhere and sat on a Lady. I wondered if this was the cockroachs response to all the glory that was spoken about it!   She started screaming out of Fear. With Panic stricken face and trembling voice, she started jumping, with both her hands desperately trying to get rid of the Cockroach. Her reaction was contagious, as everyone in her group got cranky to what was happening. The Lady finally managed to push the Cockroach to another Lady in the group.   Now, it was the turn of the other Lady in the group to continue the Drama. The Waiter rushed forward to their rescue.   In the relay of throwing, the Cockroach next fell upon the Waiter. The Waiter stood firm, composed himself and observed the behaviour of the cockroach on his shirt. When he was confident enough, he grabbed and threw it out with his fingers.   Sipping my Coffee and watching the amusement, the antenna of my mind picked up a fe