Andhra Maverick

  A little boy went into a drug store, reached for a soda carton and pulled it over to the telephone. He climbed onto the carton so that he could reach the buttons on the phone and proceeded to punch in seven digits (phone numbers). The store-owner observed and listened to the conversation: Boy: "Lady, Can you give me the job of cutting your lawn? Woman: (at the other end of the phone line): "I already have someone to cut my lawn." Boy: "Lady, I will cut your lawn for half the price of the person who cuts your lawn now." Woman: I'm very satisfied with the person who is presently cutting my lawn. Boy: (with more perseverance): "Lady, I'll even sweep your curb and your sidewalk, so on Sunday you will have the prettiest lawn in all of Palm beach , Florida ." Woman: No, thank you. With a smile on his face, the little boy replaced the receiv

  Once all the scientists die and go to heaven............ They decide to play hide-n-seek.........Unfortunately Einstein is the one who has the den...........He is supposed to count up to 100...and then start searching...... Everyone starts hiding except Newton ......... Newton just draws a square of 1 meter and stands in it right in front of Einstein........... Einstein's counting 1,2,3......97,98,99.....100........ He opens his eyes and finds Newton standing in front........ Einstein says " Newton 's out. . . Newton 's....out....." Newton denies and says I am not out........ He claims that he is not Newton ...... All the scientists come out to see how he proves that he is not Newton ... Newton says "I am standing in a square of area 1m squared..... That makes me Newton per meter squared...... since one Newton per meter squared is one Pascal, I'm Pascal, Therefore Pascal is OUT...........!

WHEN THE GUY WAS RETURNING AFTER HIS MARRIAGE...HE FOUND HIS WIFE HOLDING A SMALL PACKET ! THE GUY ASKED........WHATS THERE IN THAT PACKET.. WIFE REPLIED.....DARLING THIS IS THE SECRET OF MY LIFE...PLS NEVER  OPEN IT OR ASK ME ABOUT IT FURTHER.... OTHERWISE OUR MARRIAGE WILL BE IN TROUBLE............ THE COUPLE SPENT THEIR DAYS HAPPILY...... BUT THE GUY WAS VERY KEEN TO KNOW WHAT WAS THERE IN THAT SMALL PACKET...... AFTER  SOME DAYS THE GUY AGAIN TOLD...... DARLING AFTER MARRYING YOU,I GOT THE WOMAN OF MY DREAM... BUT TELL ME WHAT THAT PACKET IS.......IT WLL NEVER AFFECT OUR RELATIONSHIP.....AS I LOVE U MORE THAN MY LIFE....................BUT WIFE ONLY TOLD THAT I ALSO LOVE U MORE THAN MY LIFE.... THATS WHY TELLING U NOT TO ASK ABOUT THAT.......... AFTER SOME DAYS WIFE WENT TO HER OWN HOUSE AND FORGOT TO TAKE HER PACKET.........THEN THE BOY COULDN'T CONTROL HIMSELF....AND OPENED THAT PACKET.................................!!!!!!

Sweetest Excuse : A kid gets 0 mark in a paper. Father angirly says wat is dis? Kid replied : teacher ke pass STAR khatam ho gaye to MOON dene shuru kar diye.   Nurse: Congrats Santa ji, aap papa ban gaye. Santa: Meri wife ko nahi bolna mein use surprise dunga!   RPL : (Raha Paisa To Lenge), RNRL : (Rona Nahi fir bhi Ro Lenge), RIL (Risk in Life), REL : ( Roz ek lafda)  

O ne day all the employees reached the office and they saw a big advice on the door on which it was written: "Yesterday the person who has been hindering your growth in this company passed away. We invite you to join the funeral in the room that has been arranged in the gym". In the beginning, they all got sad for the death of one of their colleagues, but after a while they started getting curious to know who was that man who hindered the growth of his colleagues and the company itself. The excitement in the gym was such that security agents were ordered to control the crowd within the room. The more people reached the coffin, the more the excitement heated up. Everyone thought: "Who is this guy who was hindering my progress? Well, at least he’s dead now!" One by one the thrilled employees got closer to the coffin, and when they looked inside, they suddenly became speechless. They stood nearby the coffin, shocked and in silence, as if someone had touche

A clock that has only 9's in it. Having 9s does not make it special.... U can design a clock having only 9 with 9/9 (=1), (9+9)/9(=2), (9+9+9)/9(=3) and so on... What makes it really amazing is the fact that... it has only 3 9s in each digit representation. ..

*1. Subtract your age from 100,* *the answer is the percentage of your investments that should be in stocks or stock mutual funds.* *2. Keep three to six months of salary for emergency **3. Set aside 10% of gross income for savings **4. To retire comfortably, your investments must generate 70% to 80% of the income you received while working **5. Expect the stock market to give you a 10% avg annual return over life time period **6. Life insurance benefits should equal 5 times your current income **7. Refinance your home when interest rates drop by 2 percentage points *

Dhirubhai - Beta, ye kya kiya, sarey investors ko mere paas bhej diya ? Anil - Daddy, maine socha agar aap waha koi IPO laogey toh koi investor to hona chahiye ! RPL = Raha Paisa to Lengey RIL = Risk In Life RNRL = Rona Nahi phir bhi Ro Lengey RPEL = Really Power-less Listing REL = Roz Ek Lafda RIIL = (Un)Reliable Intention, Is Lost R.Cap = Roz Cap Utharo Din ke ujale me Reliance Power ne Andhera dikhaya Papa ka sapna ???? ???? ne mitti me milaya. Anil Ambani's Next IPO - RELIANCE MOMBATTI LTD.....When power on RPower and Rel Energy will earn ....... when Power off also Reliance Mombatti will earn ... Them ..... either step by investors make earning for Reliance company 1)....Jeena RIL, Marna RIL, Coming Soon, Rel Hospital IPO, Rel Accident IPO. On Death, Free Electric funeral by RPOWER. Rel Zindagi Ke SAATH BHI, ZINDAGI ke BAAD BHI. 2)Dear ADAG members, Thru self RELIANCE, u will have the POWER & ENERGY to bear all your losses. This COMMUNICATION is directly from our boss who

Sorce: moneycontrol Even God has a Sense of Humour!! God was in the process of creating the universe. And he was explaining to his subordinates: 'Look everything should be in balance. For example, after every 10 deer there should be a lion. Look here my fellow angels, here is the country of the United States. I have blessed them with prosperity and money. But at the same time I have given them insecurity and tension.... And here is Africa. I have given them beautiful nature. But at the same time, I have given them climatic extremes. And here is South America. I have given them lots of forests. But at the same time, I have given them lesser land so that they would Have to cut off the forests... So you see fellows, everything should be in balance.' One of the angels asked... 'God, what is this extremely beautiful country here?' God said....... 'Ahah...that is the crown piece of all. 'INDIA', My most precious creation. It has

Bathtub Test During a visit to the mental asylum, a visitor asked the Director, "How do you determine whether or not a patient should be institutionalized?" "Well," said the Director, "we fill up a bathtub, then we offer a teaspoon, a teacup and a bucket to the patient and ask him or her to empty the bathtub." "Oh, I understand," said the visitor. "A normal person would use the bucket because it's bigger than the spoon or the teacup." "No." said the Director, "A normal person would pull the plug. Do you want a bed near the window?"

Intellectual Answers Go Through' it. Question 1: You are driving along in your car on a wild, stormy night, it's raining heavily, when suddenly you pass by a bus stop, and you see three people waiting for a bus: An old lady who looks as if she is about to die. An old friend who once saved your life. The perfect partner you have been dreaming about. Which one would you choose to offer a ride to, knowing very well that there could only be one passenger in your car? This is a moral/ethical dilemma that was once actually used as part of a job application. * You could pick up the old lady, because she is going to die, and thus you should save her first; * or you could take the old friend because he once saved your life, and this would be the perfect chance to ! pay him back. * However, you may never be able to find your perfect mate again. The candidate who was hired (out of 200 applicants) had no trouble coming up with his answer. Guess what was his answer? He simply answered: &

  I met money one day. I said, "You are just a piece of paper." Money smiled and said , "Of course I'm a piece of paper, but I haven't seen a dustbin yet, in my life"

A corrupt minister used to write 'NOT APPROVED' on all the papers that were sent to him by his assistants, He always left a significant space between NOT and APPROVED. When the affected persons suitably greased his palms, he would recall the file and just add an 'E:' after NOT so that it became 'NOTE: APPROVED'. This was the beginning of eBusiness!

A Project Manager working in a MNC, as usual after lunch goes to the cafeteria for coffee. He relaxes in canteen. He sees a canteen boy cleaning tables there. so he decides to have fun with him. He calls him Project Manager - (Asks canteen boy) : How much do you earn? Canteen boy smiles... Project Manager - what are your future plans? Canteen boy keeps quite... Project Manager - Jab mai Bangalore aaya tha tab mere paas bhi kuch nahi tha....Aaj mere paas naam hai, shohrat hai, paisa hai, investments hai,securities hai....tumhare paas kya hai? Canteen boy - Sa'ab mere paas kaam hai.... Project Manager leaves the cafeteria silently....... Enjoy!

Oh! No! Next Reliance IPO? :-) Let me check : Reliance Power (over!) Reliance Infratel (DRHP filed) Reliance Retail (on the cards) Reliance Entertainment (coming soon) Tech Reliance Reliance Bio Fuels . . . . Reliance Fruits Reliance Vegetables Reliance Fruit Baskets Reliance Water (Drink Water, Think Reliance) Reliance Air (with the possible Tag Line : Air Everywhere, Reliance There!) ? Can we not simply rename BSE as RSE and move on? :-)