Life's like that!

1. Jesse Jackson, Jim Baker and Jimmy Swaggert have

    written an impressive new book. It's called

    "Ministers Do More Than Lay People."

 

 2. Transvestite: A guy who likes to eat, drink and

    be Mary.

 

 3. The difference between the Pope and your boss

    ....the Pope only expects you to kiss his ring.

 

 4. My mind works like lightning.

    One brilliant flash and it is gone.

 

 5. The only time the world beats a path to your door

    is if you're in the bathroom.

 

 6.

 

 7. It used to be only death and taxes were

     inevitable.

     Now, of course, there's shipping and handling, too.

 

   8. A husband is someone who, after taking the

       trash out, gives the impression that he just cleaned

       the whole house.

 

 9. My next house will have no kitchen -

      just vending machines and a large trash can.

 

 10. A blond said, "I was worried that my mechanic

       might try to rip me off. I was relieved when he

       told me all I needed was turn signal fluid."

 

 11. I'm so depressed. My doctor refused to write me

        a prescription for Viagra.

       He said it would be like putting a new flagpole

       on a condemned building.

 

 12. My neighbor was bit by a stray rabid dog. I went

       to see how he was and found him writing frantically

       on a piece of paper. I told him rabies could be cured

       and he didn't have to worry about a Will.

       He said, "Will?  What Will?  I'm making a list

       of the people I want to bite."