And then the fight started.....

By BR -

I took my wife to a restaurant. The waiter, for some  reason, took my

order  first.

 "I'll have the strip steak, medium rare,  please."

  He said, "Aren't you worried about the mad  cow?""

  Nah, she can order for herself."

 And then the fight started...

 ---------

 A woman is standing nude, looking in the bedroom mirror.

 She is not happy with what she sees and says to her  husband, 'I feel 

horrible; I look old, fat and ugly. I really need you to  pay me a 

compliment.'

 The husband replies, 'Your eyesight's damn near  perfect.'

 And then the fight started.....

 -------

 

 A man and a woman were asleep like two innocent babies.

 Suddenly, at 3 o'clock in the morning, a loud noise  came from

outside.

 The woman, bewildered, jumped up from the bed and yelled at  the man 

'Holy crap. That must be my husband!'

 So the man jumped out of the bed; scared and naked jumped  out the

window. He  smashed himself on the ground, ran through a thorn bush and 

to his car as  fast as he could go.

 A few minutes later he returned and went up to the bedroom  and

screamed at  the woman, 'I AM your husband!'

 The woman yelled back, 'Yeah, then why were you  running?'

 And then the fight started.....

 -------

 

 Saturday morning I got up early, quietly dressed, made my lunch,

 grabbed the dog, and slipped quietly into the garage.

 I hooked up the boat up to the truck, and proceeded to back out into a

 torrential downpour.

 The wind was blowing 50 mph, so I pulled back into the garage, turned

 on the radio, and discovered that the weather would be bad all day.

 I went back into the house, quietly undressed, and slipped back into

 bed.

 I cuddled up to my wife's back, now with a different anticipation, and

 whispered, 'The weather out there is terrible.'

 My loving wife of 10 years replied, 'Can you believe my stupid husband

 is out fishing in that?'

 And then the fight started ...

 -------

 I asked my wife, "Where do you want to go for our anniversary?"

 It warmed my heart to see her face melt in sweet appreciation.

 "Somewhere I haven't been in a long time!" she said.

 So I suggested, "How about the kitchen?"

 And that's when the fight started....

 .........

 

 

 When our lawn mower broke and wouldn't run, my wife kept hinting to me

 that I should get it fixed. But, somehow I always had something else

 to take care of first: the truck, the car, e-mail, fishing, always

 something more important to me.

 Finally she thought of a clever way to make her point.

 When I arrived home one day, I found her seated in the tall grass,

 busily snipping away with a tiny pair of sewing scissors.

 I watched silently for a short time and then went into the house. I

 was gone only a few minutes. When I came out again I handed her a

 toothbrush.

 'When you finish cutting the grass,' I said, 'you might as well sweep

 the driveway.' and then the fight started...

 

 

 

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