Funny Quotes

I liked most # 20


      "I'm Dressed and Out of Bed – What More Do You Want?" – Laraine K.
      Harford and Howie Kallem.


      "If a Man Speaks in a Forest Where No Woman Can Hear, Is He Still
      Wrong?" – Andrea Shettle of Arlington.


      "You're Just Jealous Because the Little Voices Are Talking to Me" – a
      reader named Angee.


      "Feed Me Hors d'Ouevres and I Analyze Policy" – Phil Frankenfeld of
      Northwest Washington.


      "Washington D.C. – So Many Monuments, So Little Time" – Phil
      Frankenfeld again.


      "I'm Only Wearing Black Until They Make Something Darker" – several
      eagle-eyes.


      "I Live in My Own World But It's OK – They Know Me Here" – Pat
      Ellerbee of Springfield.


      "Be Nice to Your Children – They Choose Your Nursing Home" – Mark
      Rudy.


      "...And You Say Psycho Like It's a Bad Thing" – Teri McCloskey.


      "No Outfit Is Complete Without a Little Cat Fur" – Joan Patchett.


      "Chaos, Panic, Disorder... My Work Here Is Done" – Andi Drimmer.


      "I Hear Voices – And They Don't Like You" – Tom Roberts of Bowie.


      "If Idiots Could Fly, This Place Would Be an Airport" – Kimberly
      Richer.


      "On the Eighth Day, God Created Ohio" – Elaine Steib, who confesses
      to being a transplanted Buckeye.


      "Life's Too Short to Dance With Ugly Women" – W.R. Sommers of
      Sterling.


      "Dinner Is Ready When the Smoke Alarm Goes Off" – Brendan J. O'Byrne.


      "My Husband Is a Great Lover – He Knows All My Erroneous Zones" –
      John O'Byrne of Dublin.


      "Never Give the Devil a Ride – He'll Want to Drive" – Marge Killmon.


      "Pray to God but Keep On Rowing Toward Shore" – Marge Killmon again.


      "Diplomacy Is the Art of Saying 'Nice Doggie' Until You Can Find a
      Rock" – Jennifer Burrell.


      "You Just Gave Me Something to Live for – Revenge!" – Jennifer
      Burrell again.


      "Make It Idiot Proof, and Someone Will Make a Better Idiot" –
      Jennifer yet again.


      "Don't Assume That I Cook" – across a sketch of a woman from the
      1950s, with thanks to Marilyn Frankel.


      FRONT: "When Henry Ford Saw My Sweetheart Wearing This Shirt, He
      Said..."


      REAR: "Now There's a Model T!" – Len Greenberg.


      "Good Girls Are Bad Girls That Never Get Caught" – Jennifer Phillips
      of Fairfax.


      "You're a Naughty Boy – Go to My Room!" – Kevin Swiger, who saw it
      aboard "a shapely young woman."


      ABOARD A WOMAN: "I'm the Mom. No Questions. No Arguments. We'll Just
      Do Things My Way."


      ABOARD THE MAN WALKING BESIDE HER: "Listen to Your Mother" – Annette
      Dirks.


      "Now I Know Why Some Animals Eat Their Young!" – K.J. Humphrey of
      Riverdale.


      "Age and Treachery Will Always Beat Youth and Skill" – Steve Amato of
      Alexandria.


      "I May Be Wrong" – Glen Farmer of San Francisco.


      "God Made Only a Few Great Heads – On the Others, He Put Hair" - -
      Bob Noyer of Winchester, Va.


      "I Have Twins – What's Your Excuse?" – Richard Rognile.


      "Consciousness – That Annoying Time Between Naps" – Laura Dougherty.


      "Foreign Service Officers Do It in More Places" – from an anonymous
      submitter, who saw it "near the State Department."


      "Marriage Has Cured My Fear of Being Alone" – Lewis Lorton.


      "Bomb Expert – If You See Me Running, Try to Keep Up!" – Ed Melisky,
      then about 30 fellow spotters.


      "Drill 'Em, Fill 'Em, Bill 'Em" – seen aboard a dental student in
      Richmond by Joanne Yates.


      "I Used Up All My Sick Days, So I Called in Dead" – Anne-Marie Lund
      Kagy.


      "Support OPEC – Drive an SUV" – Paul G. Maiorana.


      "I'm Not Shy – I'm Just Examining My Prey" – Dyan Loya of Silver
      Spring.


      "You Non-Conformists Are All Alike" – Dyan Loya again.


      "Albert Winestein – Drink a Few Glasses and Become a Genius" – J.G.
      Kramb, who saw it near Gettysburg, Pa.


      "Repent – and Sin Some More" – Roy Iwaki of New York City.


      "I Used to Have a Handle on Life, but It Broke" – Joan E. Runge of
      Columbia.


      "Beauty Is in the Eye of the Beer Holder" – Joan Runge again.


      "You Can Always Tell a Harvard Man – but You Can't Tell Him Much" –
      Carol Schwab of Silver Spring.


      "Growing Old Is Mandatory – Growing Up Is Optional" – Vera Rausch of
      Rockville.


      "My Job Is Secure – Nobody Wants It" – Skipper Oliver of Woodbridge.


      "If All the World's a Stage, I Want Better Lighting" – Skipper Oliver
      again.


      "When God Made Me, He Was Just Showing Off" – Elsie H. Clarke of
      Silver Spring.

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