Andhra Maverick

A woman writes to the IT Technical support Guy Dear Tech Support   Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and I noticed a distinct slowdown in the overall system performance, particularly in the flower and jewellery applications, which operated flawlessly under Boyfriend 5.0.   In addition, Husband 1.0 uninstalled many other valuable programs, such as Romance 9.5 and Personal Attention 6.5, and then installed undesirable programs such as NEWS 5.0,   MONEY 3.0 and CRICKET 4.1.   Conversation 8.0 no longer runs, and House cleaning 2.6 simply crashes the system.   Please note that I have tried running Nagging 5.3 to fix these problems, but to no avail.   What can I do?     ***********************      Most interesting part – The REPLY           ***************************   DEAR Madam,     First, keep in mind, Boyfriend 5.0 is an Entertainment Package, whil...

  The first day of school our professor introduced himself and challenged us to get to know someone we didn't already know. I stood up to look around when a gentle hand touched my shoulder. I turned around to find a wrinkled, little old lady beaming up at me with a smile that lit up her entire being.. She said, 'Hi handsome. My name is Rose. I'm eighty-seven years old. Can I give you a hug?' I laughed and enthusiastically responded, 'Of course you may!' and she gave me a giant squeeze.. 'Why are you in college at such a young, innocent age?' I asked. She jokingly replied, 'I'm here to meet a rich husband, get married, and have a couple of kids...' 'No seriously,' I asked. I was curious what may have motivated her to be taking on this challenge at her age. 'I always dreamed of having a college education and now I'm getting one!' she told me. After class we walked to the student union building and shared a choco...

This is truly brilliant...It can't get more accurate than this!!!! Sigmund Freud's Priorities Five things are happening in your house at the same time. In which sequence would you solve them? 1. The telephone is ringing! 2. The baby is crying! 3. Someone's knocking or calling you from the front door! 4. You hung the clothes out to dry and it is beginning to rain! 5. You left the tap on in the kitchen and the water is already overflowing! In which sequence would you solve these problems? Write the sequence and check below how your decisions were made. BUT BE HONEST, THE FINDINGS ARE EXCITING. First write YOUR sequence from 1 to 5 then scroll below and read after! Answer: Every individual point represents something in your life.. On the list you can see which meaning every point has: 1. Telephone represents Work 2. Baby represents Family 3. Door represents Friends 4. Clothes represent Money 5. Tap represents Love Life

  Ek Sharabi full tight hokar ghar jaa raha tha. Raaste me mandir ke baahar pujari dikha.   Sharabi n pujari se poocha, sabse bada kaun? Pujaari NE peecha chidane ke liye kaha "Mandir Bada".   Sharabi bola "Mandir bada toh dharti pe kaise khada" Pujari: "Dharti badi"   Sharabi: "Dharti badi toh Sheshnaag pe kyun khadi" Pujari" "Sheshnaag bada"   Sharabi: "Sheshnaag bada toh Shiv ke gale me kyon pada" Pujari: "Shiv bada"   Sharabi: "Shiv bada toh Parbat par kyon khada" Pujari: "Parbat bada"   Sharabi: "Parbat bada toh Hanuman ki ungli pe kyon pada" Pujari: "Hanuman bada"   Sharabi: "Hanuman bada toh Ram ki charno me kyon pada" Pujari: "Ram bada"   Sharabi: "Ram bada toh Ravan ke piche kyun pada" Pujari: "arey mere baap TU Bata kaun bada" Sharabi: "Is duniya me woh bada, Jo puri bottle pee ke apni taango pe kh...

  Bombay has no bombs and is a harbour not a bay. Churchgate has neither a church nor a gate. It is a railway station. There is no darkness in Andheri. Lalbaag is neither red nor a garden. No king ever stayed at Kings Circle . Nor did Queen Victoria stay at Victoria Terminus. Nor is there any princess at Princess Street . Lower Parel is at the same level as Parel There are no marines or s...

  Once upon a time there was a shepherd looking after his sheep on the side of a deserted road.Suddenly a brand new Porsche screeches to a halt. The driver, a man dressed in an Armani suit, Cerutti shoes, Ray-Ban sunglasses, TAG-Heuer wrist-watch,and a Pierre Cardin tie gets out and asks the shepherd, 'If I can tell you how many sheep you have, will you give me one of them?' The shepherd looks at the young man, then looks at the large flock of grazing sheep and replies, 'Okay.' The young man parks the car, connects his laptop to the mobile-fax, enters a NASA Website, scans the ground using his GPS, opens a database and 60 Excel tables filled with algorithms and pivot tables.He then prints out a 150-page report on his ...

Not sure if Subroto Bagchi himself was a Tomato seller sometimes, but the moral of the story below is interesting. Enjoy!   I pass through this very intersection every morning with so much ease. Today, the pace is skewed. There is a sense of disarray as motorists try to push past each other through the traffic light. The light here always tests their agility because if you miss the green, you have to wait for another three minutes before it lets you go past again.   Those three minutes become eternity for an otherwise time-insensitive nation on the move. Today, there is a sense of chaos here. People are honking, skirting each other and rushing past. I look out of my window to seek the reason. It is not difficult to find because it is lying strewn all over the place. A tomato seller's cart has overturned.   There are tomatoes everywhere and the rushing motorists are making pulp of it. The man is trying to get his cart back on its four rickety wheels a...

  Best answer by B.E students during viva.....   This is best answer by B.E students during viva. >---------------------> This one is for those who had nightmares during their Engineering Viva's (EEEs and ECEs). They bring back fond memories for those who care to smile at the past ************************************************************************************ Interviewer: Why is a thicker conductor necessary to carry a current in A.C.as compared to D.C. ? Candidate : An AC current goes up and down (drawing a sinusoid) and requires more...

    THE SQUARE WATERMELON   - A LESSON        Japanese grocery stores had a problem. They are much smaller than shops in the USA and therefore don't have room to waste. Watermelons, big and round, wasted a lot of space. Most people would simply tell the grocery stores that watermelons grow round and there is nothing that can be done about it.   That is how majority of people would respond. But some Japanese farmers took a different approach. If the supermarkets wanted a square watermelon, they asked themselves, 'How can we provide one?' It wasn't long before they invented the square watermelon.       The solution to the problem of round watermelons was not to solve as the farmers did not assume it was impossibl...

  Dear All,   Do you know, Rickshaw & Taxi Drivers do not have a right to say NO,. So remember that each time the rickshaw/taxi driver tells you a NO, take down his vehicle registration number, note the time date and place, please click on the following link and register your complaint.   We have had enough of these guys bullying us around, and refusing to ply specially when its urgent. They have been told that they cannot say a NO to any customer when their meter is FOR HIRE! not even for short or long distances.. I'd suggest you stop asking them whether they will take you wherever you wish to go and rather tell them where you want to go. and if they refuse. REGISTER a COMPLAINT. Lets teach these guys who's the customer ! http://www.trafficpolicemumbai.org/Complaint_Auto_taxi_form.htm     Spread the word !!! ...

New Exam pattern in India (Revised) 1. General students - Answer ALL questions. 2. General Students ( girls) - any three out of ten. (33% of total) 2. OBC - WRITE ANY one question. 3. SC - ONLY READ questions. 4. ST - THANKS FOR COMING.. AND. 5. Gujjars/Jats/ shiv sainiks - THANKS FOR ALLOWING OTHERS TO ATTEND THE EXAMINATION .. !! CHEERS TO RESERVATION. .....

According to ancient history, a grouping of seven islands comprising Colaba, Mazaga­on, Old Woman's Island, Wadala, Mahim, Parel, and Matunga-Sion formed a part of the  kingdom of Ashoka the Great of Magadh, ironically in North India. The Bhaiyas and Biharis whom the Thackerays accuse of being outsiders in Mumbai, come from the region, which was a part of Ashoka the Great’s empire.. We judge everything according to history and the history of Mumbai proves that its earliest known ownership was with a North Indian. The seven islands of Mumbai passed through many hands, the sultans of Gujarat , the Portuguese and the Bri­tish. Every ruler left behind proof of residence in Mumbai. The Mauryans left behind the Kanheri, Mahakali and the caves of Gharapuri more popularly called Elephanta. The sultans of Gujarat built the Dargahs at Mahim and Haji Ali, the Portuguese built the two Portuguese churches, one at  Prabhadevi and the other St Andrews ...

         The Stranger - So true!     A while ago, my Dad met a stranger who was new to our small town.  From the beginning, Dad was fascinated with this enchanting newcomer and soon invited him to live with our family.  The stranger was quickly accepted and was around from then on.    As I grew up, I never questioned his place in my family.  In my young mind, he had a special niche.  My parents were complementary instructors: Mom taught me good from evil, and Dad taught me to obey.  But the stranger...he was our storyteller.  He would keep us spellbound for hours on end with adventures, mysteries and comedies. If I wanted to know anything about p...