Office Lingo

By BR -

"Competitive Salary" - We remain competitive by paying less than our

  competitors.

 

  "Join Our Fast Paced Company" - We have no time to train you.

 

  "Casual Work Atmosphere" - We don't pay enough to expect that you will

  dress up.

 

 "Fun Environment" - All the managers are on holiday, having fun at your expense.

 

  "Must be Deadline Oriented" - You will be six months behind schedule on

  your first day.

 

  "Some Overtime Required" - Some time each night, some time each weekend.

 

  "Duties will Vary" - Anyone in the office can boss you around.

 

  "Must have an Eye for Detail" - We have no quality control.

 

  "Multi Tasking Candidates with a Wide Variety of Experience" - You will need

  to replace three people who just left.

 

  "Problem Solving Skills a Must" - You are walking into a company in

  perpetual chaos.  Haven't heard a word from anyone out there.  Your

  first task is to find out what is going on.

 

  "Must Possess Good Inter-Personal Skills" - You have to have a lot of tact to

  survive here as we hire a lot of ex-convicts at lower salaries.

 

  "Requires Team Leadership Skills" - You will have the responsibilities

  of a manager without the pay or respect.

 

  "Good Communication Skills and Organisational Skills" - Management communicates

  poorly, so you  have to figure out what they want and do it.

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