Quote "Unquote"

Honesty is the key to a relationship. If you can fake that, you're in." (Courtney Cox Monica in "Friends")

 

"I read somewhere that 77 per cent of all the mentally ill live in poverty. Actually, I'm more intrigued by the 23 per cent who are apparently doing quite well for themselves." (Jerry Garcia)- (Grateful

Dead)

 

Instead of getting married again, I'm going to find a woman I don't like and just give her a house.(Rod Stewart)

 

"On the one hand, we'll never experience childbirth. On the other hand, we can open all our own jars." (Bruce Willis)-(On the difference between men and women)

 

"And God said: 'Let there be Satan, so people don't blame everything on me. And let there be lawyers, so people don't blame everything on Satan." George Burns)

 

"Luge strategy? Lie flat and try not to die." (Carmen Boyle)-(Olympic Luge Gold Medal winner1996)

 

"There are only two reasons to sit in the back row of an airplane: Either you have diarrhea, or you're anxious to meet people who do." (Henry Kissenger)-(former US Secretary of State)

 

"My girlfriend always laughs during sex - no matter what she's reading." (Steve Jobs)-(Founder: Apple Computers)

 

"My cousin just died. He was only 19. He got stung by a bee – the natural enemy of a tightrope walker." (Dan Rather)- (News anchorman)

 

"I saw a woman wearing a sweatshirt with’ Guess' on it. I said,'Thyroid problem?" (Arnold Schwarzenegger)

 

"Hockey is a sport for white men. Basketball is a sport for black men. Golf is a sport for white men dressed like black pimps." (Tiger Woods)

 

"Capital punishment turns the state into a murderer. But imprisonment turns the state into a gay dungeon-master." (Rev. Jesse Jackson)

 

Women complain about premenstrual syndrome, but I think of it as the only time of the month that I can be myself. (Roseanne)

 

According to a new survey, women say they feel more comfortable undressing in front of men than they do undressing in front of other women. They say that women are too judgmental, whereas, of

course, men are just grateful. (Robert De Niro)

 

In the last couple of weeks I have seen the ads for the Wonder Bra. Is that really a problem in this country? Men not paying enough attention to women's breasts? (Hugh Grant)

 

There's a new medical crisis. Doctors are reporting that many men are having allergic reactions to latex condoms. They say they cause severe swelling. So what's the problem? (Dustin Hoffman)

 

When the sun comes up, I have morals again           (Elizabeth Taylor)

 

There's very little advice in men's magazines, because men think, "I know what I'm doing. Just show me somebody naked." (Jerry Seinfield)

 

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🕉 *BHAGWAD GITA* _*in one sentence*_ _*per chapter...*_ *Chapter 1* _Wrong thinking is the only problem in life_ *Chapter 2* _Right knowledge is the ultimate solution to all our problems_ *Chapter 3* _Selflessness is the only way to progress & prosperity_ *Chapter 4* _Every act can be an act of prayer_ *Chapter 5* _Renounce the ego of individuality & rejoice in the bliss of infinity_ *Chapter 6* _Connect to the Higher consciousness daily_ *Chapter 7* _Live what you learn_ *Chapter 8* _Never give up on yourself_ *Chapter 9* _Value your blessings_ *Chapter 10* _See divinity all around_ *Chapter 11* _Have enough surrender to see the Truth as it is_ *Chapter 12* _Absorb your mind in the Higher_ *Chapter 13* _Detach from Maya & attach to Divine_ *Chapter 14* _Live a lifestyle that matches your vision_ *Chapter 15* _Give priority to Divinity_ *Chapter 16* _Being good is a reward in itself_ *Chapter 17* _Choosing the right over the pleasant is a sign of power_ *Chapter 18* _Let Go, Lets