Marriage

By BR -

 

Ring
Marriage ring -wedding ring ---suffering

Earns
Before marriage, a man yearns for the woman he loves. After marriage, the y becomes silent.

Smile
When a newly married couple smiles, everyone knows why. When a ten-year married couple smiles, everyone wonders why.

Relatives
A husband said to his wife, No, I don t hate your relatives. In fact, I love your mother-in-law better than mine.

Genie
A man meets a genie. The genie tells him he can have whatever he wants provided that his mother-in-law gets double. The man thinks for a moment and then says, OK, give me a million dollars and beat me half to death.

Successful Person
A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. A successful woman is one who can find such a man.

Honeymoon
The honeymoon is over when the husband calls home to say he ll be late for dinner and the answering machine says it is in the microwave.

Definition
How do most men define marriage?
A very expensive way to get your laundry done free.

Cost
A little boy asked his father, Daddy, how much does it cost to get married?
The father replied, I don t know, son, I m still paying for it.

Credit Card
A man said his credit card was stolen but he decided not to report it because the thief was spending less than his wife did.

Blind Love
Love is blind: marriage is an eye-opener.

B'day
The most effective way to remember your wife s birthday: forget it once.

Cosmetics
A woman s means for keeping a man from reading between the lines

Words to live by
Do not argue with a spouse who is packing your parachute.

Door
When a man opens the door of his car for his wife, you can be sure of one thing: either the car is new or the wife.

Couple
A couple came upon a wishing well. The husband leaned over, made a wish and threw in a penny. The wife decided to make a wish, too. But she leaned over too much, fell into the well, and drowned. The husband was stunned for a while but then smiled It really works!

Coma
Her husband has been slipping in and out of a coma for several months yet she stayed by his bedside every single day. When he came to, he motioned for her to come nearer. As she sat by him, he said, You know what? You have been with me all through the bad times. When I got fired, you were there. When my business fell, you were there. When I got shot, you were by my side. When we lost the house, you were there. When my health started failing, you were still by my side. When I think about it now, I think you bring me bad luck!

Husband
Honey, why are you wearing your wedding ring on the wrong finger?
Wife: Because I married the wrong man!

Lottery
A man rushed home from work and exclaimed to his wife, Pack your bags, I ve won the lottery! The wife excitedly asks, Should I pack clothes for cold or warm weather? He says, Pack em all, you re leaving!

Night
Before marriage, a man will lie awake all night thinking about something you say. After marriage, he will fall asleep before you finish...

Life
When a man is single, he's incomplete. When he's married, he's finished.

 

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