Andhra Maverick

  A touching one, brings tears to eyes and forced to thing, what we are going to earn and leave for the family, society we are in, we moved out for greener pastures, but feel strongly come back, the desires will or won’t they end up????       As the dream of most parents I had acquired a degree in Software > Engineer and joined a company based in USA , the land of braves and > Opportunity . When I arrived in the USA ; it was as if a dream had come > true. >   > Here at last I was in the place where I want to be. I decided I would be > Staying in this country for about Five years in which time I would have > Earned enough money! To settle down in India . >   > My father was a government employee and after his retirement, the only > Asset he could acquire was a decent one bedroom flat. I wanted to do some > Thing more than him. I started feeling homesick and lonely as the time > Passed. I used to call home and spe

After just a few years of marriage, filled with constant arguments, a young man and his wife decided the only way to save their marriage was to try counseling. They had been at each other's throats for some time and felt that this was their last straw.    When they arrived at the counselor's office, the counselor jumped  right in and opened the floor for discussion.      "What seems to be the problem?" The wife began talking 90 miles an hour describing all the wrongs within their marriage.      After 15 minutes of listening to the wife, the counselor went over to her, picked her up by her shoulders, kissed her passionately for several minutes, and sat her back down. Afterwards, the wife sat there speechless.      He looked over at the husband who was staring in disbelief at what had happened.  The counselor spoke to the husband, "Your wife NEEDS that at least twice a week!"   The husband scratched his head and replied... "I can hav

You'll never look at the ocean the same way... The average blue whale produces over 400 gallons of sperm when it ejaculates, but only 10% of that actually makes it into his mate. So 360 gallons are spilled into the ocean every time one unloads, and you wonder why the ocean is so salty...   Pass it on .......Don't swallow the water

A couple had two little boys, ages eight and ten, who were excessively mischievous. The two were always getting into trouble and their parents could be confident that if any mischief occurred in their town, their two young sons were involved in some capacity. The parents were at their wit's end as to what to do about their sons' behavior. The parents had heard that a clergyman in town had been successful in disciplining children in the past, so they contacted him, and he agreed to give it his best shot. He asked to see the boys individually, so the eight-year-old was sent to meet with him first. The clergyman sat the boy down and asked him sternly, "Where is God?" The boy made no response, so the clergyman repeated the question in an even sterner tone, "Where is God?" Again the boy made no attempt to answer, so the clergyman raised his voice even more and shook his finger in the boy's face, "WHERE IS GOD?"

                Plato:                  For the greater good.                   Karl Marx:                  It was an historical inevitability.                   Timothy Leary:                  Because that's the only kind of trip the                 Establishment would let it take.                   Oliver North:                  National Security was at stake.                   Carl Jung:                  The confluence of events in the cultural gestalt                 necessitated that individual chickens cross roads at                 this historical juncture, and therefore                 synchronicitously brought such occurrences into being.                     Jean-Paul Sartre:                  In order to act in good faith and be true to                 itself, the chicken found it necessary to cross the                 road.                   Albert Einstein:                  Whether the chicken crossed the road or the

A first grade teacher explains to her class that she is an American.  She asks her students to raise their hands if they were American too.  Not really knowing why but wanting to be like their teacher, their hands explode into the air like flashy fireworks.  There is, however, one exception. A girl named Kristen has not gone along with the crowd.   The teacher asks her why she has decided to be different. "Because I am not an American." "Then", asks the teacher, "what are you?" "I'm a proud Canadian," boasts the little girl.  The teacher is a little perturbed now, her face slightly red. She asks Kristen why she is a Canadian. "Well, my mom and dad are Canadians, so I'm a Canadian too!"   The teacher is now angry. "That's no reason," she says loudly. "What if your mom was a moron, and your dad was a moron. What would you be then?"  A pause, and a smile... "Then," says Kristen, "I&#

>>Pat Glenn - Weightlifting Commentator, "This is Gregoriava from >> Bulgaria . I saw her snatch this morning and it was amazing." >> >>Ted Walsh - Horse Racing Commentator: "This is really a lovely >>horse, I once rode her mother." >> >>Murray Walker, "The lead car is absolutely unique, except for the >>one behind it which is identical." >> >>Greg Norman, "I owe a lot to my parents, especially my mother and >>father." >> >>Alan Minter, "Sure there have been injuries and deaths in boxing - >>but none of them serious." >> >>Terry Venables, "If history repeats itself, I should think we can >>expect the same thing again" >> >>Ron Atkinson, "He dribbles a lot and the opposition doesn't like it >>- you can see it all over their faces." >> >>Harr

1. It's an incentive to show up. 2. It leads to more honest communications. 3. It reduces complaints about low pay. 4. Employees tell management what they think, not what they want to     hear. 5. It encourages car pooling. 6. Increase job satisfaction because if you have a bad job, you     don't care. 7. It eliminates vacations because people would rather come to     work. 8. It makes fellow employees look better. 9. It makes the cafeteria food taste better. 10. Bosses are more likely to hand out raises when they are wasted. 11. Salary negotiations are a lot more profitable. 12. Employees work later since there's no longer a need to relax at       the bar. 13. It makes everyone more open with their ideas. 14. Eliminates the need for employees to get drunk on their lunch       break. 15. Employees no longer need coffee to sober up. 16. Sitting "Bare ass" on the copy machine will no longer be seen       as gross.

  While campaigning, Al Gore was walking thru a small town when he came upon a group of about a dozen young boys standing around a dog.  Concerned that the boys were hurting the dog, he went over and asked,  "What are you boys doing with that dog?"    One of the boys replied, "This dog is a neighborhood stray. We all want him, but only one of us can take him home. So we've decided that whichever one of us can tell the biggest lie will get to keep the dog."   Of course, the vice-president was taken aback. "You boys shouldn't be having a contest telling lies!" he exclaimed.  He then launched into a ten-minute sermon against lying, beginning,  "Don't you boys know it's a sin to lie," and ending with, "Why, when I was your age, I never told a lie!" There was dead silence for about a minute.    Just as the VP was starting to think he'd gotten through to them, the smallest boy gave a deep sigh and said... &

God created the donkey and said to him "You will be a donkey. You will work >untiringly from sunrise to sunset carrying burdens on your back. You will >eat grass, you will have no intelligence and you will live 50 years." >The donkey answered "I will be a donkey, but to live 50 years is much. Give >me only 20 years." God granted his wish. >   >God created the dog and said to him "You will guard the house of man. You >will be his best friend. You will eat the scraps that he gives you and you >will live 30 years. >The dog answered "Sir to live 30 years is too much, give me only 15 years." >God granted his wish. >   >God created the monkey and said to him "You will be a monkey. You will >swing from branch to branch doing tricks. You will be amusing and you will >live 20 years. >The monkey answered "To live 20 years is too much, please give me only 10 >years."

A blind man enters a Ladies Bar by mistake. He finds his way to a bar stool and orders a drink. After sitting there for a while, he yells to the bartender, "Hey, you wanna hear a blonde joke?"   The bar immediately falls absolutely quiet. In a very angry voice, the woman next to him says, "Before you tell that joke, sir, you should know five things ... 1 -     The bartender is a blonde girl. 2 -     The bouncer is a blonde gal. 3 -     I'm a 6 feet tall, 200 pound blonde woman with a black belt in karate. 4 -     The woman sitting next to me is blonde and is a professional weightlifter. 5 -     The lady to your right is a blonde and is a professional wrestler.   Now think about it seriously, Mister. Do you still wanna tell that joke? The blind man thinks for a second, shakes his head, and declares, "Nah, not if I'm gonna have to explain it five times!."

     A man checked into a hotel. There was a computer in his room, So he decided to send an e-mail to his wife. However, he accidentally Typed wrong e-mail address, and without realizing his error, he sent  the e-mail. Meanwhile.....somewhere in Houston , a widow had just returned home   from   her husband's funeral. The widow decided to check her e-mail, expecting    messages from relatives and friends.      After reading the first message, she fainted. The widow's son rushed    into   the room, found his mother on the floor, and saw the computer screen    which read:      To: My Loving Wife    Subject: I've Reached    Date: 16 May 2002    I know you're surprised to hear from me. They have computers here now,    and you are allowed to send e-mails to your loved ones.    I've just reached and have been checked in.    I see that everything has been prepared for your arrival tomorrow.    Looking forward to seeing you then!   

God one day decided he ought to check in with Adam to see how things were going.   "Adam....How are things going?"   Adam replies that he considers himself quite fortunate to be living in such a beautiful and peaceful place but he did have a couple of questions to ask, if the Lord didn't mind, of course.   "No problem," said the Lord, "Ask away"   "Well Lord, I was wondering why you made Eve so beautiful? Not that I'm complaining, mind you."   "Adam, I made Eve so beautiful so that you would like her."   "Oh, well yes, I do like her very much. Thank you Lord. You made her so beautiful, but why is it then that you made her so stupid?"   "Well Adam, I had to make sure she liked you too!"

    > > >how very reassuring... Chocolate > > > > > >Just a reminder of life's priorities . . . > > >Chocolate is a Vegetable > > > > > >Chocolate is a Vegetable: Chocolate is derived > from > > >cocoa beans. Bean = vegetable. > > >Sugar is derived from either sugar CANE or > > >sugar BEETS. Both are plants, which places them > in > > the vegetable > > >category. > > > > > >Thus, chocolate is a vegetable. To go one step > > >further, chocolate candy bars > > >also contain milk, which is dairy. So candy bars > > are a > > >health food. > > > > > >Chocolate-covered raisins, cherries, orange > slices > > and > > >strawberries all > > >count as fruit, so eat as many as you want. > > > > > >Diet tip: Eat a chocolate b

A Chinese Man went into a bar in Hawaii to have some drinks. At the counter he was amazed to see that he was sitting next to the famous Hollywood director, Steven Spielberg. After a round of beer, the Chinese man sensed that the famous producer was glaring at him. Suddenly, in a flash the Chinese crashed down from his stool, felled by a vicious punch from the director. Picking himself up, he yelled, "What the hell was that for?"     The Director ranted, "That's for the bombing of the Pearl Harbour you ##@!!*#!. My dad perished in that bombing!"   "I am not Japanese. I am Chinese."   "Yeah, yeah, yeah......... Japanese, Burmese, Chinese, you are all the same," retorted Spielberg.   Regaining his composure the Chinese took his seat and ordered a double from the bartender. A few seconds later, the Chinese turned around and delivered a mighty punch to the director, sending him flat onto the floor.   "What was that

**************************************************** HOW AIRPLANES ARE DIFFERENT FROM WOMEN ****************************************************   An airplane will kill you quickly...a woman takes her time.   Airplanes can be turned on by a flick of a switch.   An airplane does not get mad if you 'touch and go.'   An airplane does not object to a preflight inspection.   Airplanes come with manuals.   Airplanes have strict weight and balance limits.   You can fly an airplane any time of the month.   Airplanes don't come with in-laws.   Airplanes don't whine unless something is really wrong.   Airplanes don't care about how many other airplanes you have flown.   When flying, you and your airplane both arrive at the same time.   Airplanes don't mind if you look at other airplanes, or if you buy airplane magazines.   It's OK to use tie downs on your airplane.   **************************************