SMS Jokes

By Materials & Welding -

it goes in dry, it comes out wet,
the stronger its in the stronger it get,
we can have it in bed just u n me,
not what u think
- teabag

what r the 3 fastest ways of communication?
a-telephone
b-television
c-tell-a woman

how do you keep a mongole busy? read below.
how do you keep a mongole busy? read above.

mental anxiety,
mental breakdowns,
menstrual cramps,
menopause...
...did you ever notice how all womans problems begin with MEN!

Wht do U cll a h&cuffed man?
Trus2rthy.

If you really wanna get stoned, drink wet cement.

I intend to live for ever and so far everything goes well.

This msg can only be read by a SEXY person:
...............
Try again......
...............
Sorry, i guess your just not sexy...
...............
HEY! dont force it, ugly!!!

 

A bus station is where a bus stops.
A train station is where a train stops.
On my desk, I have a work station

why did the blonde climb a glass block?
to see what was on the other side

Hw do U communic@e with a fish?
Drop it a line.

If u think life is bad, imagine being a chicken egg... U only get laid once, u only get smashed once and the only bird who sits on your face is your mum

life's not a garden,
so stop acting like a hoe!

Abracadabra
Nope, ur still ugly!

Y dnt c@s shv?
Coz they prefer whiskers!

How to impress a woman: compliment her, kiss her, love her, tease her, protect her, listen to her, support her
How to impress a man: Show up naked, bring beer

What did one saggy boob say to the other saggy boob? If we don't get some support people are going to think we're nuts!

pls turn ur mobile
upside down now!!
37OHSSV O773H

 

Press down.
................
down more
.................
deeper
.................
more
YES
..................
ahh
..................
ohh
..................
yes
Almost there!
..................
ooh baby
..................
faster
..................
harder
FEEL GOOD?
...................
mmmm
....................
THAT'S TEXTUAL INTERCOURSE

 

How much deeper would oceans be if sponges didn't live there?

If Fed Ex and UPS were to merge, would they call it Fed UP?

If it's true that we are here to help others, then what exactly are the OTHERS here for?

Ever wonder what the speed of lightning would be if it didn't zigzag?

I got rid of my husband. The cat was allergic.

A scientist crossed a skunk with an owl. He's got a bird that smells but doesn't give a hoot.

Why are all the dumb blonde jokes one-liners? So men will understand them.

Name ten animals from Africa. Nine elephants and a giraffe.

Two's company, three's a crowd but what is four and five? Nine.

Which sexual position produces the ugliest children? Ask your mother.

Foolish man give wife grand piano...wise man give wife upright organ.

Man who run in front of car get tired. Man who run behind car get exhausted.

Virginity like bubble, one prick, all gone.

Man with hand in pocket feel cocky all day.

Man who eat many prunes get good run for money.

Man who fight with wife all day get no piece at night.

Man who drive like hell bound to get there.

Crowded elevator smell differently to a midget.

Roses are red, violets are blue, I was born beautiful, but what the hell happened to you?

Do step ladders have real parents?

How do you keep an idiot in suspense???
..........
...........
........huh!!!

Can I have a return ticket please. Certainly, where to? Back here, you fool.

The thief stole a calendar. He got 12 months.

Two nudists got divorced because they were seeing too much of each other.

How do you make a Swiss roll? Push him off the top of a cliff.

 

 

what is height of mixed feeling?

ans: ur mother-in-law falling from 7th floor on ur mercedes..

 

WHAT MEN WANT:

A women who can cook

A women who earns good money

A women who loves him

&

A system to make sure those 3 women never meet each other

 

 

 

 

 

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