WARNING labels on BEER CAN

By BR -

Due to increasing products liability litigation, beer manufacturers

Have accepted the FDA's suggestion that the following warning labels be placed immediately on all beer containers:

 

   WARNING:

   Consumption of alcohol may make you think you are       whispering

when you are not.

 

   WARNING:

   Consumption of alcohol is a major factor in dancing like an ass.

 

   WARNING:

Consumption of alcohol may cause you to tell the same boring story over

and over again until your friends want to SMASH YOUR HEAD IN.

 

   WARNING:

   Consumption of alcohol may cause you to thay shings like thish

 

  WARNING:

  Consumption of alcohol may lead you to believe that ex-lovers are

really dying for you to telephone them at four in the morning.

 

 WARNING:

Consumption of alcohol may leave you wondering what the hell happened

to

your pants.

 

 WARNING:

 Consumption of alcohol may make you think you can logically converse

with other members of the opposite sex without

spitting.

 

WARNING:

Consumption of alcohol may make you think you have mystical Kung Fu

powers.

 

WARNING:

Consumption of alcohol may cause you to roll over in the morning and

see

something really scary (whose species and or name you can't remember).

 

WARNING:

Consumption of alcohol is the leading cause of inexplicable rug burns

on

the forehead.

 

WARNING:

Consumption of alcohol may create the illusion that, you are tougher,

smarter and more handsome than some really, really big guy named FRANZ.

 

WARNING:

Consumption of alcohol may lead you to believe you are invisible.

 

WARNING:

Consumption of alcohol may lead you to think people are laughing WITH

you.

 

WARNING:

Consumption of alcohol may cause an influx in the time space continuum,

whereby small (and sometimes large) gaps of time may seem to literally

disappear.

 

WARNING:

    Consumption of alcohol may actually CAUSE pregnancy

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