WHY DID THE CHICKEN CROSS THE ROAD?

By BR -

                Plato:

                 For the greater good.

 

                Karl Marx:

                 It was an historical inevitability.

 

                Timothy Leary:

                 Because that's the only kind of trip the

                Establishment would let it take.

 

                Oliver North:

                 National Security was at stake.

 

                Carl Jung:

                 The confluence of events in the cultural gestalt

                necessitated that individual chickens cross roads at

                this historical juncture, and therefore

                synchronicitously brought such occurrences into being.

 

 

                Jean-Paul Sartre:

                 In order to act in good faith and be true to

                itself, the chicken found it necessary to cross the

                road.

 

                Albert Einstein:

                 Whether the chicken crossed the road or the road

                crossed the chicken depends upon your frame of

                reference.

 

                Bhuddha:

                 If you ask this question, you deny your own

                chicken-nature.

 

                Darwin:

                 It was the logical next step after coming down from

                the trees.

 

                Emily Dickinson:

                 Because it could not stop for death.

 

                Ralph Waldo Emerson:

                 It didn't cross the road; it transcended it.

 

                Johann Friedrich von Goethe:

                 The eternal hen-principle made it do it.

 

                Ernest Hemingway:

                 To die. In the rain.

 

                Saddam Hussein:

                 This was an unprovoked act of rebellion and we were

                quite justified in dropping 50 tons of nerve gas on

                it.

 

                Jack Nicholson:

                 'Cause it (censored) wanted to. That's the

                (censored) reason.

 

                Ronald Reagan:

                 I forget.

 

                John Sununu:

                 The Air Force was only too happy to provide the

                transportation, so quite understandably the chicken

                availed himself of the opportunity.

 

                Sappho:

                 Due to the loveliness of the hen on the other side,

                more fair than all of Hellas' fine armies.

 

                Henry David Thoreau:

                 To live deliberately ... and suck all the marrow

                out of life.

 

                Mark Twain:

                 The news of its crossing has been greatly

                exaggerated.

 

                Captain James T. Kirk:

                 To boldly go where no chicken has gone before.

 

                Machiavelli:

                 So that its subjects will view it with admiration,

                as a chicken which has the daring and courage to

                boldly cross the road, but also with fear, for whom

                among them has the strength to contend with such a

                paragon of avian virtue? In such a manner is the

                princely chicken's dominion maintained.

 

                Andersen Consultant:

                 Deregulation of the chicken's side of the road was

                threatening its dominant market position. The chicken

                was faced with significant challenges to create and

                develop the competencies required for the newly

                competitive market. Andersen Consulting, in a

                partnering relationship with the client, helped the

                chicken by rethinking its physical distribution

                strategy and implementation processes. Using the

                Poultry Integration Model (PIM) Andersen helped the

                chicken use its skills, methodologies, knowledge

                capital and experiences to align the chicken's people,

                processes and technology in support of its overall

                strategy within a Program Management framework.

                Andersen Consulting convened a diverse cross-spectrum

                of road analysts and best chickens along with Andersen

                consultants with deep skills in the transportation

                industry to engage in a two-day itinerary of meetings

                in order to leverage their personal knowledge capital,

                both tacit and explicit, and to enable them to

                synergize with each other in order to achieve the

                implicit goals of delivering and successfully

                architecting and implementing an enterprise-wide value

                framework across the continuum of poultry cross-median

                processes. The meeting was held in a park like setting

                enabling and creating an impactful environment which

                was strategically based, industry-focused, and built

                upon a consistent, clear, and unified market message

                and aligned with the chicken's mission, vision, and

                core values. This was conducive towards the creation

                of a total business integration solution. Andersen

                Consulting helped the chicken change to become more

                successful.

 

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