Baking Potato
How a Honda employee bakes a potato:
Preheat new, high-quality oven to 350 F. Insert Idaho potato. Go do
something productive for 45 minutes. Check for doneness, and then remove
perfectly baked potato from oven and serve.
How a GM employee bakes a potato:
Instruct an Idaho potato supplier to preheat the oven to 350 F. Demand
that
the supplier show you how he turned the dial to reach 350F, and have him
come up with documentation from the oven manufacturer proving that it
was
calibrated properly. Review documentation, then have supplier check the
temperature using sophisticated temperature probe. Direct supplier to
insert
potato and set timer for 45 minutes. Have supplier open oven to prove
potato
has been installed correctly, and request a free study proving that 45
minutes is the ideal time to bake a potato of this size.
Check potato for doneness after 10 minutes.
Check potato for doneness after 11 minutes.
Check potato for doneness after 12 minutes.
Become impatient with supplier (why is this simple potato taking so long
to
bake?). Demand status reports every five minutes. Check potato for
doneness
after 15 minutes... After 35 minutes, conclude that potato is nearing
completion. Congratulate supplier, and then update your boss on all the
great work you've done, despite having to work with such an
uncooperative
supplier. Remove potato from oven after 40 minutes of baking, as a cost
savings; without loss of function or quality versus the original 45
minute
baking time. Serve potato.
Wonder aloud what on earth those Japanese folks are doing over there to
make
such good low-cost baked potatoes that people seem to like better than
GM
potatoes.
Daimler Chrysler's Baked Potatoes:
Design great looking potato. Include sour cream, bacon bits, chives, and
cheese. Bean counters then create MCM system. Engineers spend 2 years
looking for ways to take out sour cream, bacon bits, chives, and cheese.
Engineers find cheap imitation chives from Japanese supplier. Management
commands engineers to use expensive, over-engineered German bacon bits
to
help prop up weak German suppliers. Sell potato with cheap imitation
chives,
no sour cream, cheese or expensive German bacon bits. Potato rots so
fast
customer swears never to buy another DCX potato.
Ford's Baked Potatoes:
Engineers create plain looking, "everyman" potato. Sold as "green"
alternative to French Fries. When micro waved, potato explodes, causing
death and injury to customers and bringing end to 100-year potato and
butter-supplier relationship, Lawyers flourish.
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