Funnies

By BR -


Sardar went 2 a restrnt n ordrd pizza.Whn d waitr askd him whethr he shud cut it into 4 or 8 pcs,sardar said 'Yaar char hi kar de aath khaye nahin jayenge'...
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SARDAR reads a poster outside police station. "WANTED!!! for rape and murder. He goes in & says "Sir I want to apply 4 that job."
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Lady to inspector Santa: My husband went to buy potatos 5 days ago, he hasn't came back yet!
Santa: Why don't you cook something else.
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Santa: yaar meri biwi pani se bahut darti hai.
Banta: achaa, wo kaise?
Santa: Yaar kal me ghar gaya to wo bath tub mai bhi security guard ke saath baithi thi.
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Santa had a fight with his wife preeto.
At evening he felt hungry, called home and asked: Darling, what are you cooking for dinner?
Preeto: Pioson
Santa: OK, enjoy the dinner, I will eat outside today.
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Banta: Why is the Police nicknamed "The heart of the country"?
Santa: It beats, beats, beats....
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Petrol ke rate badhne par Santa bola: "Menu koi farak nahin penda. Pehle bhi 100 ka bharwata tha ab bhi 100 ka bharwata hoon."
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In a party, a lady wanted to go to toilet. She said to Santa: Susu karne ki jagah dikhaao.
Santa: U naughty girl, pehle tum dikhaao.
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How does santa takes bath during winter?
He stands in front of the mirror and throws water on the mirror.
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Santa to his mother: Mother, tommy has eaten up my book.
Mother: Bring him here, I will punish him.
Santa: I already did so by drinking the milk you gave him.
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An englishman and santa inside the toilet.
Englishman: Good evening, how do u do?
Santa: Gud evening, we open the zip and do
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Santa khali kadahi me chammach chala raha tha to Banta ne poocha kya bana rahe ho? Santa- BEWAKOOF bana raha hoon..
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A man told santa: Banta is kissing your wife.
Santa hurriedly rushed to home, within half hour came back angrily and slapped the man and said: He is not Banta.
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Banta went to canada and asked a call girl, "How much?"
Girl says, "$50 on bed, $20 on sofa, $10 on grass."
Banta gives her $50.
Girl: you are a man of class.
Banta: No, 5 time grass.
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A man and a woman, who had never met before, found themselves assigned to the same sleeping room on a transcontinental train.  Though initially embarrassed and uneasy over sharing a room, the two  were tired and fell asleep quickly, he in the upper bunk and she in  the lower.
At 2:00 AM, he leaned over and gently wakes the woman, saying, "Ma'am, I'm sorry to bother you, but would you be kind enough to reach into the closet to get me a second blanket? I'm awfully cold."
"I have a better idea," she replied. "Just for tonight, why don't we pretend that we're married?"
"Wow! That's a great idea!!" he is excited.
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"Then get up and take it yourself"!! :)))))  
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